Scriptural Variations on the Five-Second Rule

(For the audio version of this blog, please visit: https://brothersinchristcmf.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Mass-Blog-for-the-22nd-Sunday-in-Ordinary-Time-2024.mp3)

Jesus might have been an early adherent of the 5–second rule.  That rule dictates that any food dropped on the floor is still edible if snatched up before five seconds elapse.

Scripture proves he wasn’t afraid to create eternal lessons out of a little dirt and spit. Those were the raw materials he used to restore someone’s vision, according to John’s gospel (JOHN 9). Could that be where the gambler’s drinking toast “here’s mud in your eye” came from? (We’re happy to plant that story here to show legend doesn’t always need fact to tell a truth.)

With that in mind, it’s a good bet that Jesus might even have enjoyed getting a little dirty to teach us a lesson. His Father used the dust of this world to create us, after all. And as Moses implies in Sunday’s first reading (Dt 4:1-2, 6-8), our Creator mixed His very essence into that dust to instill in us the wisdom of love.

The nation of Israel was to be the model for living off the Divine law that sprouted after its citizens claimed title to that land. Moses adds that other nations witnessing the harvest and consumption of that crop will testify, ‘This great nation is truly a wise and intelligent people.’

Clearly, God revels in his dusty people, for as Moses continued, “What great nation is there that has gods so close to it as the LORD, our God, is to us whenever we call upon him?”

God’s spit and our dust yield the medium by which wisdom becomes inspiration. As James admonishes us in Sunday’s second reading,

Humbly welcome the word that has been planted in you and is able to save your souls. Be doers of the word and not hearers only, deluding yourselves. Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to care for orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained by the world. (Jas 1:17-18, 21b-22, 27)

Any family blessed to have members who’ve reached old age or to have children with special needs requiring extra love, know a level of intimacy that can only be experienced by changing soiled diapers (the baby and adult varieties) or wiping both ends of those loved ones as needed. That’s an intimacy the Pharisees of Christ’s time might have required others to manage for them—for fear of defiling themselves. They couldn’t even stand seeing Jesus and his disciples display variants of the 5-second rule while eating, as we might surmise from Mark’s gospel this Sunday (Mk 7:1-8, 14-15, 21-23).

They observed that some of his disciples ate their meals with unclean, that is, unwashed, hands. —For the Pharisees and, in fact, all Jews, do not eat without carefully washing their hands.

Jesus chastised these dust-based units by suggesting they cleanse themselves of the man-made filth caking-up within them:

You disregard God’s commandment but cling to human tradition. … Hear me, all of you, and understand. Nothing that enters one from outside can defile that person; but the things that come out from within are what defile.

And that defilement can happen in less than five seconds.

–Tom Andel

4 Comments

  1. There is a saying about trying to pick fly poop out of the pepper mill. Seems the Pharisees and Jewish leaders worked with a similar mindset.

    Jesus on the other hand wants us to see AND GET the big picture. Our focus is easily distracted on the trivial. Only one thing is necessary, and we need to choose the better part!
    Following Christ unreservedly is not easy but is the better part!

    • Yeah, in Matthew 23 he tells the scribes and Pharisees, “You blind guides! You strain out the gnat but swallow the camel” A variation might be, “You can’t see the forest for the trees.” The easiest way to see ourselves in this context is through his friends Martha and Mary. Mary is sitting in rapt attention at Jesus’ feet, trying to digest every bit of his wisdom, while Martha is frustrated that Mary isn’t helping her set the table for dinner. To take your spicy analogy a little further, she, like we, often let the main course get cold while trying to get the flea poop out of the pepper. Thanks, Thomas. I won’t be able to get that picture out of my head the rest of the day.

  2. Being grounded by one’s physical senses seems to be a great way to live in “the here and now’ where we experience Our Lord’s Presence. Love the baby picture

    • We’re called to be grounded in things above us, but we’re often weighted down by the junk inside us, right Ron? BTW, I love the baby pic, too, but it’s clip art. No relation.

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